My Marine Corps Wife

On Veterans Day we recognize those that served in our Armed Forces. But

there are some others that also have borne the burden of separation, worry,

and heavy responsibilities in the absence of the military member.

Our wives.

While serving as a Marine Security Guard at the American Embassy in

Copenhagen, Denmark in 1954-55, I met a lovely young Dane named Bente Katja

Pedersen. We married in the Copenhagen Town Hall in September 1955. Both of

us were 19 years old. We are still happily married.

Bente experienced war long before I served in Vietnam. She remembers the

Germans marching into her country as a little girl. The occupation lasted

for five years. She had the unfortunate experience of the Gestapo ransacking

her home while her, her mother and grandmother were held at gunpoint while

the Germans looked for an uncle that was in the Resistance. A neighbor had

betrayed him. When bicycling she some times had German sentries search her

basket when going through checkpoints.  Towards the end of the occupation

the Germans began a reign of terror by occasional indiscriminant shooting of

people on the streets. Once a passerby pulled her down in the nick of time

when a car stopped, the Germans stepped out and started firing.

I was a Pfc when we married, not much money, we couldn't even afford a car

at that time. Our first home in 1956 was a camping trailer on blocks at the

Marine Corps Air Station, Cherry Point, North Carolina. That's what the

lower ranks lived in at that time. Our daughter was a small baby when I

received orders for overseas. I was gone for 14 months, our daughter had

learned to walk and talk during that time. She didn't know whom I was when I

came home. Unlike the Army and Air Force, the Marine Corps combat units do

not allow families to accompany them on overseas assignments. For many

years, before and after Vietnam, Marines could count on an unaccompanied

overseas deployment, lasting 13 to 14 months, about every three or four

years. I often envied the Army and Air Force members that were stationed in

Germany and Japan with their families. They just do not have the amount of

family separations that are required of Marines, and also the shipboard Navy

I might add.

We had more than five years of separations during my career. While on

Okinawa during 1964-65 the Vietnam War started and my unit deployed to

Danang. On return to the states I joined a newly formed helicopter squadron,

trained for 15 months and deployed back to Vietnam. So my family was alone

during the tour in 1964-65, and again for 13 months during 1966-67. All of

this was an emotional burden that Bente bore as a real "Marine Corps wife".

(There was yet another tour in Japan before retirement).

Nowadays the military combat units generally only have six-month tours

overseas. That would be a breeze compared to 13-14 months. These separations

are unique to the military, and they often either reinforce a marriage. or

break it. It requires the wives to handle family matters that often demands

responsible decisions that have to be made alone. Civilians do not

experience the burden of separations like the military.  It is not easy. So

as we salute our Veterans, let's also salute the wives. And I salute one

very special one.. Bente Katja Mix.

Thomas Mix

Capt. USMC ret.